The Golden Thread – The Week in Review
October 13–19, 2002
Welcome to The Golden Thread Online, your free e-letter from American Writers & Artists Inc. Every Saturday, you will receive this recap of all the strategies, insights and opportunities we send to you and your fellow AWAIers each week. Whether it’s a message from a fellow writer about how he landed a new client … a technique from a Master copywriter for writing a control … an insight into how to succeed in a new market … news of a brand new writing job or business opportunity for you … you’ll find it here in this easy-to-access and always available “Week in Review.”
In This Issue:
- Three Steps to Writing Better Copy Based on Michael Masterson's Panel-Review Technique
Michael Masterson shares the review steps you should take every package through to ensure it is as strong as possible. - Success Story: How Laura Gagnon Landed Two Paid Assignments After Attending A Travel Writing Workshop
In an interview, an AWAI member shares how she landed to paying assignments after attending AWAI's travel writing workshop.
Three Steps to Writing Better Copy Based on Michael Masterson's Panel-Review Technique
Michael Masterson has been directly or indirectly responsible for more than a billion dollars' worth of direct-mail copy over a span of more than 20 years. And in all that time training and coaching copywriters, he writes, "I've never, ever seen the kind of progress…and performance I saw at this year's AWAI Bootcamp."
If you follow these three simple steps below you will undoubtedly create stronger headlines, leads, and more successful packages all around. In fact, we use this same review process for each and every package we mail at AWAI.
Step 1: The headline.
Eighty percent of the impact (and the success) of a direct mail promotion is derived from less than 20% of the copy. That 20% is the headline and lead.
That's why Step 1 is all about focusing on these two critical parts. Here's what you do:
Give yourself two deadlines. The first deadline is for the headline and lead of the sales letter; the second deadline is for the rest of the promotion.
When you have the headline and lead, gather three to four people who are familiar with the product and/or target audience to help review and provide feedback. If you're doing this with your client you might ask them to include people who have a variety of skills and backgrounds: a marketing executive, a product specialist, a creative person, and sometimes a typical buyer. As a group, you are going to assign numerical grades – from 1.0 to 4.0 – to the copy.
Start by rating the headline (headline only at this point) on the two jobs it absolutely must accomplish:
- How well does it get itself noticed? Even if you have a ton of papers on your desk, would this get your attention?
- Is it compelling? Does it make you want to read further?
If your headline fails to score an average of at least a 3.0, ask your panel for specific suggestions on how to make it more arresting and/or compelling. Do not entertain negative statements. Restrict their contributions to positive suggestions and then as a group rate those as either "better" or "worse."
Step 2: The Lead
Once you've got your headline up to snuff, have your panel read the lead (more or less the first 1-1.5 pages of copy) and provide, in numeric form, their gut reaction to it as consumers.
If it scores below a 2.5, it may need to be redone entirely. But if it scores between a 2.5 and a 3.2, then there is a strong possibility it will improve considerably with this process.
To evaluate the strength of the lead, you must ask:
- How well does this lead sell you?
- How strongly does it hook you?
- To what extent does it make you want to settle back in your chair and read further?
Again, you are looking for a gut reaction and you are hoping to score 3.2 or more. If not, then the following questions should give you the answers you are looking for.
- What is the strongest phrase or sentence in the lead?
- Would it help if it were emphasized or brought forward?
At this point you are asking for suggestions – specific blocks of copy that could be inserted to create the desired effect. After each offered suggestion, poll the other members of the group as to whether they think the new suggestions improve the existing copy. Ask them to respond: worse, better, much better or neutral.
If you get stuck at this point, you can rate the copy against any or all of the following criteria:
- Credibility
- Urgency
- Uniqueness
- Usefulness
- Idea, and
- Specificity
In four out of five cases, a single half-hour of this kind of work will produce a lead that is strong to very strong. Rate your revised lead to be sure it passes muster.
Step 2: The main body copy.
When the rest of your promotion is finished, go through it carefully on your own – highlighting every claim and promise made. Then sit down and determine if each is adequately supported. If it's not, figure out how it could be done better.
At the same time, read the package to see if it is balanced. A well-balanced package provides four things.
- A benefit. It makes a desirable promise.
- An idea. It suggests something that distinguishes the product from its competitors.
- Credibility. It establishes that the writer of the sales letter, the product, and the manufacturer of the product are reliable and trustworthy.
- A track record. It proves that all the claims are true.
Some of the best copywriters and marketers we know have adopted individual parts of it for their own use. You should do the same.
[Michael Masterson's technique for critiquing sales letters was also featured in his daily eletter Early to Rise. Visit Early to Rise to get a FREE subscription.]
Success Story: How Laura Gagnon Landed Two Paid Assignments After Attending A Travel Writing Workshop
Like a lot of New Yorkers, Laura Gagnon juggles several different jobs. She's been playing music nearly all her life, and has been touring as a bass player (mostly in Europe) for about seven years. When she's home, she works for a non-profit theater company and also promotes concerts and parties.
Laura has always loved traveling – and being a musician has given her access to many really interesting people who have been happy to show her around their hometowns for the day or two she's there.
Recently, she told us how she combined her lifelong interest in travel and the skills she learned at last year's Travel Writing Workshop in Paris to land two paid assignments.
TGT: Why did you decide to come to the workshop in Paris?
LG: I've been following International Living online for a couple of years now, and when I first read about the Paris workshop I was really intrigued. I usually keep a journal when I'm on tour – partly to pass the time and partly to remember where I've been and who I've met in each town. Re-reading these journals, I realized that they were full of story ideas that might interest other people, but that I needed to better organize and focus the information. I also knew nothing about how or where to sell travel articles, which was an enticing part of the workshop itinerary.
TGT: When you got back from the workshop, how did you go about getting published?
LG: A few weeks after returning from Paris, I came across a help-wanted ad in a local newspaper calling for people to write short nightlife reviews for a website. Writers were asked to submit samples, so I wrote a short review of a local cafe/bar. This is a place I've been going to for years, so I was able to write about it off the top of my head – and although this wasn't really "travel writing," I kept what I'd learned in Paris in mind. I e-mailed my sample review to the editor, and she got back to me with an assignment … and then a second one. (I was offered additional assignments, but I had to turn them down because I was leaving town for a couple weeks and she had to meet a deadline.)
TGT: How did you get paid for these pieces?
LG: These pieces were works-for-hire, meaning the publisher buys your material outright and you don't get a byline. Although I did get paid, I was obviously hoping to get clips with my name on them to use as samples to get more work. But there's a happy ending to this because, unbeknownst to me at the time, there was a print edition of the website in the works. The publisher had a splashy book release party last week. All the writers were invited and received a copy of the book – and there was my name on page 2 on the list of contributing writers.
TGT: Is there one thing in particular that you learned – or an experience you had – at the workshop that helped you achieve your writing goals? Something you couldn't have learned by simply reading a travel-writing guide?
LG: The really great thing about the Travel Writing Workshop is that the course covers not only how to write (coming up with ideas, organizing your thoughts, the structure of a good article, etc.) but also what to do to get your work published: where to look for opportunities to place your material, what to say (and not say) to editors, how to use the Internet for story research and to find publications looking for content. The instructors, especially Jen Stevens and Steenie Harvey, are fascinating to listen to. Not only do they have great stories about their own experiences as travel writers, but they have firsthand, current information about the industry as well.
TGT: What advice would you offer to members who are thinking about joining us in Mexico this November?
LG: Do it! If you want to write for a living, you won't find another course that so thoroughly covers both writing technique and how to get what you've written published. You get a huge amount of information in those few days. And the course and the people involved with it are a lot of fun!
[For more information on our Travel Writing Workshop visit The Travel Writers Life or call 1-800-926-6575.]
